What Causes Sexual Addiction?

Different factors trigger sexual addiction, otherwise known as sexual dependency or sexual compulsivity. The obsession to sexually compulsive behaviors is a complex subject and can hardly be attributed to a single cause. Sexual addiction is more likely a build up of conditions over time, such as early sexualization or early exposure of an individual to inappropriate sexual material or behavior, traumatic experiences during childhood, physical and/or sexual abuse, abandonment, or emotional trauma.

Generally, the causes of sexual addiction may be classified into three: biological, psychological, and spiritual.

Biologically, a biochemical process in the brain, affecting the pleasure and reward pathways, may trigger sexual addiction. Studies show that food, abused drugs, and sexual interests share a common pathway within the brains’ survival and reward systems. Sex and food are quite similar in this sense as they are probably the most basic and fundamental human drives. Consider that without food we would die and without sex we would no longer continue our DNA into the future.

Brain chemistry has created elaborate reward systems to motivate this goal directed behavior. Sex activates the natural opioids and dopamine that produce intense pleasure and euphoria accentuating the addiction and the likelihood of continued behavior. Interestingly, modern brain imaging shows us that the brain when sexually aroused looks nearly identical to a brain under the influence of cocaine. No wonder the drive for sex is so intense. This may explain why even competent, intelligent, and goal-directed people can be so equally obsessed with indulging in sexual fantasy and seeking a sexual “fix.” Their brains have been hijacked!

Psychologically, sexual addiction has become one means of adapting to physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Most of reported sex addicts relate histories that include these psychological abuses and traumas. Emotionally for the sex addict, sex is not really about sex but a vehicle to provide an illusion of affirmation, a veneer of control and connection in a safe environment. The sexual “fix” has become the source of pleasure and a means of avoiding unpleasant feelings, a coping mechanism to fight stress, work difficulties, interpersonal, psychological, and emotional problems.

Studies reveal that most sex addicts come from dysfunctional families. The findings of one study show that 72% of sex addicts had been physically abused in childhood, 81% had been sexually abused, and 97% emotionally abused. Patrick Carnes’ research also indicates that 87% of the families of sex addicts included more than one addict in the home and a majority of them grew up in a rigid family system, disengaged family system, or both a rigid and disengaged family system. The implication is that a lot of sex addicts come from families where their emotional needs were not met. They learned to self soothe and self medicate as a means of enduring some pretty awful childhood experiences.

Spiritually, sexual addiction feeds the delusion that fulfilling comfort, love, and security can be experienced apart from God. What need would they have for God if a sexual “fix” is all that they “need?” The addiction becomes the God that comforts, arouses, or helps the sex addict escape the present moment. As long as sex is an option the addict can live in the delusion of power and control and is unlikely to make the spiritual surrender necessary to experience a true spiritual experience.

These causes are many and usually overlap depending on the circumstances of the sex addict. This is why treatment of a sexual addict entails much effort and support not only from the individual but also his or her loved ones. Support and encouragement from 12 step groups and a recovery community, group therapy, and even family and friends all contribute to the treatment of the sex addict and assist the healing process.

Achieving Sexual Wholeness – The Awesome Benefits of Conserving Sexual Energy and Transmutation

Why waste sexual energy when it can be transformed through yogic practices into ever changing continuous joy and bliss? Nearly everyone I know has no idea how truly awesome transmutation of conserved vital energy can be. Related to trantra, this spiritual approach to sexuality is, under the right conditions, most incredibly fulfilling.

There is nothing more immensely satisfying and fulfilling than the transmutation of stored sexual energy. However, it is not an ordinary accomplishment to successfully conserve one’s vital “sexual energy” fluids for indefinite periods of time and transmute that sexual energy. One needs to know the “big picture” as to what activities best transmute the sexual energy, how to maintain sexual health (essential) and have the wisdom and faith necessary to see it through. Another vital consideration is the diet needs to be high in raw food, super food supplements and antioxidants, especially those foods, supplements, and herbs that support sexual health and wholeness.

Very few fully understand the whole process and how beneficial overcoming the addiction to conventional orgasm can be, let alone even have the slightest notion that the common craving for basic sex is in fact a built-in biochemical addiction involving mainly the neurohormones dopamine (the sexual excitation neurotransmitter) and prolactin (the sexual satiation hormone). Yes, I consider that the natural craving for conventional orgasm to be another one of countless addictions one can be subject to and certainly worth overcoming or transforming into a much wiser, more fulfilling level of being alive and even as a key to helping one overcome other addictions and emotional attachments.

When one thinks of celibacy, one usually visualizes some content, wise and peaceful aging ascetic monk, alone in a quiet cell contemplating God or chanting in a beautiful Latin chorus with hundreds of other monks. On the other extreme are the tantric lovers dancing in each other’s arms thrilling each other through and through with profound ecstasy and love. In both of the above situations and everything in between, there is, hopefully a conservation of sexual fluid and a transmutation of sexual energy. However, the tantric lovers “celibacy” is much trickier and much more complicated than a monk’s form of celibacy.

To remain celibate even during an intimate relationship requires tremendous self-control, self-discipline, self-understanding and years of experience with celibacy. Why even bother? Because the benefits and sheer power of conserved sexual energy, especially while in a relationship with the opposite sex, once mastered and fully transmuted is profound love, intimacy and joy on a whole new level, and I mean really intense, everlasting, love, pleasure, and a sense of wholeness like nothing else. With or without a relationship, one can live in complete joy and I mean live in complete joy forever.

Some yogis have tried celibacy for years and years but achieved very few if any of the benefits I am certain of. The reason: because there are so many tricky aspects to having fully transmuted celibacy and so much to understand and explain.

Most important of all, one’s sexual organs and rest of endocrine gland system, and health in general must be whole. Not much meaningful benefit can ever come from the kind of celibacy that is a result of illness, impotence, frigidity, hormone imbalance, glandular problem(s), arterial sclerosis, extreme old age, or any kind of surgical removal. If there is no sexual energy to transmute, what then is the good of being celibate? It is only a symptom of an illness in that sense.

The key to transmutation (this is important) is the expansion of a strong, healthy libido into bliss with adaptogenic herbs (often called “aphrodisiacs”), herbal antioxidants, vitamin antioxidants, super foods, daily water fasting, daily aerobic exercise outside in a garden or park, breathing exercises, and whatever else that will increase the level of prana (vitality) in the body and connection with nature. Every aspect of transmutation is what one would do anyway to achieve perfect high-level wellness or wholeness. A wholesome diet high in adaptogenic herbs and supplements with complete meals separated by short fasts on loads of water is the most important key factor. Every factor for wholeness must come together and the long term (months into years) conservation of sexual fluids is only one essential factor that would be very hard to achieve nor even make much sense without all the other essentials of this wholeness lifestyle.

I should refer to the ideal form of celibacy I am talking about as “holistic celibacy” or real sexual wholeness. When one, by providing the above mentioned essential Science of Wholeness lifestyle requirements, successfully practices “holistic celibacy” one enters into an awesome sexual renaissance in the form of a massive, and extremely blissful kundalini awakening. What I mean by the kundalini, is a powerful and transforming sexual bliss in every cell of the body that is fully outside, above and beyond the inferior level of regular, all physical sexual activity which only ends in loss of sexual fluid along with some natural but rather undesirable changes in brain chemistry that leave one more prone to depression, restlessness, attachment, dependency and addiction. In holistic celibacy, because no sexual fluid is ever lost, but only transmuted and conserved, the sexual organs become vastly more active, orgasmic, and alive than ever. One thrills ever more each day in infinite, everlasting sexual power, virility and super sensual ecstasy. One wakes up every morning in an inner paradise of intense, perpetual, sexual bliss and goes to work and works all day in that same bliss. One is no longer swayed by the usual frustrating and limiting emotions, compulsions and desires. Could there ever be a greater, more fulfilling level of sexual wholeness than this? What could be a better way to live?

Think about the purity of children and what this means. Remember what Jesus said about children? Children are generally free of the real suffering, concerns and attachments of adulthood. Note the behavior of children verses adults. More often than not, they seem to have endless energy and take great, natural and genuine pleasure in the littlest things. And what do adults do? Nothing but worry, hurry and more worry! Their capacity for enjoyment is far more limited, stagnated and often forced or superficial. In your earliest years before you discovered the intense excitement of sexual release, wasn’t life more carefree and simple? Not so harsh or devastating when things went wrong? Also wasn’t there a constant and pleasurable voluptuousness and blissful bodily vitality that never went away?

Obviously this wonderful achievement of holistic celibacy is not simple and easy for adolescents and adults, otherwise everyone would simply stay celibate and just float away into bliss. Nature cannot allow that to happen otherwise all worldly interest and activity would stop. Nature has placed a built-in “anti-escape” mechanism to prevent everyone in the world from having too much fun and to keep the soul deeply entrenched and grounded in the body, otherwise everyone could get too intensely high to care enough about the essential game of survival. And of course, if all or most people stopped losing sexual fluids it could mean an end to most forms of human reproduction and therefore the emancipation of the environment from the destructive forces of overpopulation. All physical bodies are naturally genetically programed to reproduce themselves with as many mates as possible and as often as possible. After too long a period of sexual abstinence and sexual energy build-up, the soul would be much more likely to escape from the physical body and be able to find refuge in an inner paradise free of all the terrible limitations and afflictions of the physical world. Competition, natural selection and other developmental evolutionary forces would no longer have enough influence. The “centrifugal” pull of Mother Nature (Maya) is a “necessary evil” used by nature as a strong, overwhelming compulsion to relieve one’s self of sexual fluids either with a partner or without in order to keep one quite materialistic, competitive, possessive, addicted, stuck and grounded to the physical world throughout one’s lifetime.

However, once one learns how to redirect one’s sexual energy instead of losing vital sexual fluids, one discovers a much better way to live, and all those limiting natural laws and wasteful materialistic addictions can be transcended into a vastly superior, even God-like (centripetal) way of thriving. The sex force in a healthy person is so strong, that to redirect that force so that no vital fluids are ever lost again, would be as involved as changing the course of a massive river so that instead of it uselessly flowing into the sea, it is dammed up, stored in a huge lake, and then channeled through an immense hydroelectric generator. Massive energy can come from it in the form of tremendous, everlasting fulfillment instead of the usual temporary and inferior “fulfillment” of the common “procreational” style of sex or masturbation followed by days of emptiness and boredom. What is really more practical? Certainly not regular sex after experiencing all the awesome and magical benefits of holistic celibacy!

Allow me to list some of the benefits of holistic celibacy:

1) Ever increasing, everlasting joy, fulfillment and bliss

2) Much greater spiritual and material success

3) Really beautiful meditations

4) More concentration and energy

5) Real, permanent sexual fulfillment

6) Absolutely awesome sexual renaissance at any age

7) Massive improvement in one’s love life or relationship

8) Much more virility, strength and respect

9) Enlightenment, moksha and liberation from physical existence

10) Astral projection and free access to higher planes of consciousness

11) Development of all sorts of psychic powers

12) Emotional independence

13) Better memory and greater mind power

14) After 9 years of celibacy one develops the ability of absolute recall (memory of past lives, and of every moment in this lifetime)

15) There seems to be some claims that celibacy lengthens one’s lifespan and even stops the aging process. I think this effect depends on many other factors as well.

These benefits may all sound too good to be true, but they are not, these benefits are real and yogis have benefited from them for millenniums. The only drawback is that, at first, especially without the Science of Wholeness lifestyle, it is not very easy to be celibate, and at the same time one has to have constant very strong sexual desires to transmute or results would be inconsistent. In other words redirecting a stream would barely generate enough electricity for one house, but redirecting a massive, raging river, could easily power a whole city of light. Time is the main value factor of celibacy; ie., anyone can be celibate for 5 minutes, an hour or several days and such short lengths of time create little benefit. For any of the above benefits to develop, it could take several weeks to several months, even years of strict conservation and build-up of sexual fluids. Another important thing to know: the longer one has been celibate, the easier it becomes to remain celibate. The experience of conventional orgasm is naturally addicting, in fact it has the same effect on the brain as a shot of heroin. The more addictions one is free of, the better!